I'm not really the type to pour my heart out, I'm no romantic or anything like that. I don't do surprises or cute little things like that very well. I'm selfish at times. I'm a slob, lazy, and unmotivated. I am pretty much a jerk. I don't like most people. I can't do the whole talking thing, in person or on the phone, I much prefer writing of any form. I can be uncaring. I get angry easily at times. I am completely overemotional on the extierior but almost unemotional on the interior. I am the biggest dork on the planet. I am boring. I'm a bad friend, not a very good boyfriend, and on paper just a plain bad person. I don't really find any redeeming qualities in myself except one. The only good I see in myself is in fact someone else, the little light shining inside my dark and black self is none other than Laurel Melissa Glaze.

She is my everything. I know couples are supposed to accept each others flaws and all that jazz. But when it came down to me I was pretty convinced that there was no good to find and you couldn't exactly accept ALL the flaws. But I meet this girl ok, and not only does she not even notice any of these flaws, but she finds all these good things about. She brings them out from somewhere I didn't even know existed. I feel happy, truly happy, for quite possibly the first time in my life. And not just because I was with her, but because she made me see the good in everything else I didn't see it in before. She is slowly obliterating the cynic that ruled my life for so long. I mean I actually am starting to make some more friends.

She is absolutely perfect, in every way. I honestly look at her, and my first thought every single time I see her, is that she has got to be the most beautiful person on this planet. And I am being completely honest in saying that. I look at other women and they pale in comparison. In my eyes I only see true beauty in her. Inside and out, she is beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sexy, and cute all wrapped in one.

She is the only person I could sit on the swings with, not say a single word, and walk away thinking that it was the best conversation I have ever had in my life. The only person I can look in the eyes when I talk to them.

And somehow, this perfect goddess of a person decides to be with me. And I am left to question myself every day. Because I know that there is no damn way I, the horribly flawed person I am, could make her feel anywhere even remotely close to as good as she makes me feel every second of every minute of every day. But she is still with me, and as long as she is with me I will be with her.

There is not a thing I do that I do not think of her while doing it. I can't get mad at her, because I know damn well that nothing she could do would negate the fact that she has made me the person I am today and she is the thing truly bring me happiness.

She is the first thought on my mind in the morning, the last thing I think about before I go to bed. She is the only women I dream about, she is the only thing in this world I truly want. Nothing else matters, because as long as I have her I know I will be able to find the happiness in any situation I am in.

And I know it sounds like a lot of bullshit, but I don't care who believes me. It's not gonna stop me from saying it.

I love you Laurel Melissa Glaze, more than you may ever know.

PS: This was a spur of the moment thing and I am now not sure it was the best idea, oh well it's to late to think before I act.

 

Funny story, I crashed my bike on the way home from Laurels. Apparently when you try to avoid running over a rabbit you tend to lose control and run into trees.

It kinda sorta hurt, a lot. My hand is cut up a bit. And I have bruises and little cuts all up and down my arm and leg. My head also hurts a bit but it's not bad.

Fun times am I right?

Anyways, I need some pain pills and some damn cookies.

Later days.

Under the right cirumstances, all human beings are born with the innate capabilities required to commit murder. All it takes is a certain mindset and killing is as easy as getting dressed.

Albeit in most cases that mindset is most likely never going to be obtained, it's still something to consider.

Forgive my dark mindset at the moment, I was going through things at my moms house looking for my birth certificate and found an old newspaper containing several articles about murder.

This caused me to have quite a bit of dark thoughts today, so this post probably could be ignored and you wouldn't be missing a thing.



Everyone has a dark side to them. Even those with the goodest of intentions, or the purest of hearts, or any of that bullshit, we all have dark thoughts. We are all selfish at times, we all think of doing horrible things that we wouldn't normally do.

But that's not what determines your character, it's all a matter of whether or not you let those dark thoughts influence your life more than the good ones. We can all be horrible people at times, but as long as you do good more than bad you're still a good person deep down, right?

Maybe not, maybe the world has just become some rotten shit-hole and we all deserve a similar fate. Who knows, but I think I want to keep that last bit if optimism I have left for the world and the people in it. I believe, more and more recently, that there are still people in this world that aren't like the rest of the people in this world.

We are, after all, just human. We can't all be perfect.

Nothings perfect, the worlds not perfect. But it's there for us, trying the best it can. And that's what makes it so damn beautiful.

Ok that last bit I stole from Mustang, but it applies so oh well.



I think deep down I always knew. Freaking. Epic.

Later days.